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| Says a fox. The fox has just eaten out its own womb, so I guess it knows what it's talking about.
This is Lars von Trier's Antichrist – a film in which the virtues of therapy are tossed on the grill to sizzle alongside womanly sin, Satanism, lust, Bacchic worship, bereavement and an assortment of self-consciously symbolic woodland animals. It would be quite the barbeque even without the Reggae Reggae Sauce of graphic copulation and dick-shrivelling sexual violence.
An arrogant, controlling therapist attempts to chaperone his glib academic wife through the grief of losing their own son by travelling to an isolated woodland shack (of course!) where her fears culminate and their relationship takes on a new, and entirely hideous meaning. He's Willem Dafoe – or at least something that might have been Willem Dafoe prior to centuries of preservation in a peat bog, compressing his wizened face into a yet more stoically creased Dafoe omelette. She, meanwhile, is an unpleasantly sinewy, waif-like golem of passing resemblance to Charlotte Gainsbourg. It's hard to enjoy these gristly forms rutting with each other, as they so often do throughout the film – their bestiality compounding the film's assertion that there is something grotesque and noxious about the animal, natural world.
(I speak only for myself, of course. Such qualms were not for the man five feet to my right, who was, with ineffectual furtiveness, tugging one out right there in the cinema, belt buckle jangling. Bath is such a genteel city.)
A tad flabby, stagey and a little infatuated with its own sense of portent, Antichrist isn't a great film – but its smarts do dispel the accusation that it's just Saw for the goatee-beard crowd. The question, posed by at least one too many talking foxes, is how seriously should we really take it? Is its atmosphere of slightly over-egged unheimlich in earnest, or is it edging into the absurd?
(Spoilers ahead...)
If there is a joke here, it's partly on the audience, but in a weird, self-effacing way, it seems to be on von Trier as well. A sufferer of chronic, paralysing bouts of depression, von Trier has publicly endorsed the methods of therapy that here seem so ineffectual, laughable. Willem Dafoe's infuriatingly placid attempts to get his near-rabid wife to map out her “fear pyramid” seem just as daft as the dictums so solemnly held by the disability-faking Idiots of von Trier's earlier film. And then there's the aborted thesis written by Gainsbourg's character – 'Gynocide', a dissertation on the persecution of women as witches that begins as a rationalist, feminist indictment and then derails with the epiphany that maybe women really are touched by some terrible original sin. It's a pattern mimicked by the film as a whole: what sets out to be an artfully shot, beret-wearing examination of grief through the lens of therapy, suddenly devolves into a bonkers slasher flick of toe-curling extremity in its last half, and ultimately posits that women and nature are indeed the tools of Satan. But I suppose that's corruption for you: going from arthouse to Eli Roth in just over one hundred minutes.
In short: gosh!
| Here are some reviews I wrote and never bothered to post because I am a failure.
Frost/Nixon
A series of caricatures in implausible wigs lead us through a fascinating subject that would be and has been much better served by documentary. It's a passably enjoyable way to spend time, but as a project it doesn't really justify its existence. Lots of stagey close-ups, some creaky accents, and more than a dash of overacting eliminate the fidelity the piece needs. Also, it's not really Frost/Nixon so much as Fact/Nixon, as Frost's role turns out to be wholly inconsequential alongside the presentation of a previously unpublished piece of evidence. Not really the battle I was expecting.
Milk
A series of well-judged, nuanced and restrained performances lead us through a fascinating subject that probably has been covered in documentaries I haven't yet seen, but is nonethless compelling enough as a film regardless of its similarity to historical fact. As a fiction it could have done more to examine Josh Brolin's Dan White character, though - in fact all the cast surrounding Milk are viewed externally, which is a little frustrating. Still, solid, worthy. Like eating a fistful of gay Ryvita.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
A film which decidely did not inspire my curiosity beyond what time it was and how distant that time was in seconds from the point at which the film would end. It delivers impressive special effects, which will look horribly dated within a short number of years, fine technical execution and some adequate performances, but ultimately it's a film that says very, very little. As an exercise in fabulist entertainment it lacks the elegant, indulgent whimsy of a film like Amelie, and in its scope and plot feels very much like a cynical retread of Gump, even down to rehashing the "you never know what you're gonna get" line at regular intervals in the hope of inducing some kind of Pavlovian love response in a slobbering, poodle-brained audience. Still better than that vapid bumburp Slumdog Millionaire, though!
Max payne
Max Payne the videogame is a harboiled noir pastiche whose central tenet is that everything looks better in slow-motion, particularly things like explosions, bullets and murder. Max Payne the movie, meanwhile, seems to be largely about filing. Filing and having terse, pointless conversations. If the main character in an action movie files more paper than he fires guns then there is something seriously awry.
Knowing
Turns out knowing wasn't the issue I had with this Nick Cage-fronted sci-fi gurn-fest, it was giving a shit. Nick Cage and his wig discover a message from the past which seems to predict lots of bad shit. He then drives around boggling incredulously at things beneath his ludicrous canopy of hair, while creepy men, transplanted from the director's only good film, try and spook the audience with agonising inevitability.
There are some slightly diverting disaster set-pieces in which special effects kill lots of people (in ways which you'd think would strain the PG-13 rating) but the film is mostly just a vehicle for Cage's bad Jimmy Stewart impersonation as he tries to unravel a series of absurdly staged clues about impending doom. It's one of those films whose construction is singularly designed to baffle audiences, without that bafflement actually having any logical place within the events whatsoever.
Things in Knowing's favour: you see a moose catch fire. | Broken across two posts due to some sort of database error I don't have the wit to comprehend or resolve at this current time.
Jar City
Compact but weighty Icelandic crime drama, with a surprisingly simple, straightfoward plot. You kind of work it out at about the half way point, and the rest of the film just stolidly plods on towards a resolution you expected. Maybe no twist is the new twist? It's both satisfying and anticlimactic at the same time - we've been conditioned to expect crime dramas to have dramatic reveals, but good storytelling doesn't necessarily require them. And this has some great, minimal performances - particularly Ingvar Eggert Sigurđsson, who must play the hardest man to wear a cardigan.
It's typically bleak stuff, though. Not just because the crime is horrible, humourless and pointless, but because there's a sense that it's all occuring right on the edge of the world. There's a real overbearing sense of human insignifiance and futility when contrasted by those big frigid wildernesses.
Oddly, the film also has lots of really unpleasant meat-eating scenes. Not sure what that means.
Monsters VS Aliens 3D
I like 3D. Despite the fact that it is so pathetically, so transparently the last wheezing gasp of a cinema industry desperate to retain audiences in the face of a home entertainment market which, when propped up by piracy, offers better value, comfort and timeliness than the brazen chav-harried rip-off which is a trip to the local multiplex - despite all that, I like 3D. This film? Not improved by 3D.
I am not averse to the recent Pixar efforts - Wall-E was two-thirds a really great film - but Dreamworks has proven itself incapable of recreating those charms. This film had five different writers. Going by pure percentage values of the final script, I'd say one of those guys is funny. In unison, this cabal of jobbing hacks barfed out a by-the-numbers underdogs-save-the-world-and-realise-their-value piece-meal shite-cake, with four really good lines and the exact performances by Seth Rogen and Hugh Laurie you would expect if they were killed, and you found some way of distilling the humour and intellect out of the sum total of their perfmances and reinjected what remained into their lifeless, blanched corpses.
The worst thing about the film is that it knows it's a total piece of shit, incapable of holding the attention of an adult mind. As such it occasionally tosses out references which will only baffle children - a sequence in which the president of the USA plays the tune from First Encounters for example. Sure, children may be dumb enough that they won't even notice, but somehow this is insulting to everyone - insulting to the kids whose confusion is swept aside in order to wink with painful artifice at the parents, and depressing for the parents themselves who recognise this as an admission that the rest of the film will be intellectually barren.
Oddly, Wall-E never did this. Its references were subtly handled - its themes surprisingly profound and moving; yet it was a satisfying experience for both smart-arse jaded fuckers and brain-gloop proto-humans alike. Monsters VS Humans is a forgettable and faintly contemptuous lot of toss, and even in 3D isn't an impressive enough spectacle to warrant a trip to the cinema.
In short: no.
35 Shots of Rum
Two self-obsessed people spend 80 tortuous minutes determinedly preventing anything or anyone intruding into their insular, mundane lives. Strong acting. Unfortunately the strong acting is comprised solely of banal and selfish people in a state of persistant and purposeful inaction. Someone's cat dies in its sleep - a highlight. People wash plates for longer than anyone actually speaks. Oh great. |
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